"He had that streak in him, too. Vengeful. I always figured it was cruel, y’know, but it’s… I mean, it’s not, is it? It’s defensive. Because you can’t be vulnerable for long; you can’t stand it, can you? ’Cause if you let someone in, you have to push them away again even further, so they stay at a safe distance. ’Cause it’s not safe to let people see you like you really are, but at the same time you’re dying to tell the truth. ’Cause you don’t want to be judged—you can’t handle being judged, because people don’t get it, and they make it worse thinking that they understand—but the only thing worse than the judgment is being alone. So you give ’em a taste and then scare ’em off forever. Don’t you? You lash out so nobody can hurt you as bad as you hurt them. And that way you always win. That way you never have to trust anybody, and you’re always holding all the cards, and eventually they won’t even believe what you told them anymore—so it’s off of your chest, but it’s like you never said anything at all."
— Tierfal, “To Make the Sun Shine”
i just want to kiss babes on the lips and babies on the cheeks
"No matter where I go, I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I’m still the same incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I think that lack itself is as close as I’ll come to defining myself."
琴師 | 音頻怪物