"April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain."
"If life were merely a habit, I should commit suicide; but even now, more or less desperate, I cannot but think, ‘Something wonderful may happen.’ It is not optimism, it is a rejection of self-pity (I hope) which leaves a loophole for life… I merely choose to remain living out of respect for possibility. And possibility is the great good."
— Frank O’Hara, Early Writing, 108-9 (1/22/49)
Why is it so hard for me to just tell someone that they’re hurting my feelings. Just, honestly and directly. I think because I don’t have the energy to try and justify why I’m hurting, how I’ve been hurt by them… so, I just wait for my hurt to pass and it stays my own.